


Fight, Flight, or F____

by Blueyedgurl



Series: Reylo holidays [3]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben's panicked Brain, Childhood Trauma, Christmas Crack, Christmas Fluff, Co-workers, Coming Untouched, Communication, Dom/sub Undertones, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Himbo Ben Solo, Implied Poe Dameron/Finn, Intercrural Sex, No Pregnancy, Oral Sex, Premature Ejaculation, Safe to read if you are triggered by pregnancy, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Secret Santa, Sensation Play, Sex Toys, Unconventional HEA, Vibrators, inappropriate gifts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:13:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27992073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueyedgurl/pseuds/Blueyedgurl
Summary: Twitter prompt by BeeBeeReads:  Rey gets a dildo advent calendar for office secret santa. Ben is absolutely panicking, his chance with the cute girl is absolutely toast.  Poe would be mad that Ben took the wrong wrapped gift from the counter this morning but he can always buy Finn a new one and this is hilarious.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Reylo holidays [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2049108
Comments: 27
Kudos: 125
Collections: Reylodazzle





	1. Oh no.

Ben could feel himself sweating, he was going to need to change shirts if he was going to continue work today.

“I gave her what?” He asked panicked, he had already asked this question three times in the last 3 minutes, but he couldn’t believe what just happened.

He felt sick, he felt disgusting.

“A sex toy advent calendar.” Poe said, snapping his gum, completely unbothered, he wasn’t even looking away from his monitor at this point, not after the initial laughing fit that took up the first 2 minutes of this conversation.

“I didn’t even know they made those!” Ben said, hand tearing wildly through his hair, he was distracted this was not the point.

Focus.

“Of course, you wouldn’t.” Poe snorted.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ben said defensively, even though he knew he was getting off topic.

“That you’re repressed, but you know that. I don’t keep it a secret from you.”

He had to gain focus. It was Poe’s fault that he was in this mess. 

“How could you let me give her that? She’s going to fucking hate me.”

“Well, I was on the phone, you seemed in a hurry and I thought it was funny.” He looked up, the cocksure grin coming back to rear its ugly head. “I was right.” Poe quickly went back to typing and Ben didn’t doubt that the email was detailing what had to be the most embarrassing moment of his life. If Ben was in his car or the privacy of his own home, he would scream. Three years ago, before therapy, an audience would not have stopped him from taking Poe’s laptop and throwing it across the room. 

Three years ago, before therapy he would have not lowered himself to engage in office Secret Santa.

“So, you’re telling me that my coworker is going to open 24 days of sex toys?” Ben math brain finally working through the sheer panic of the moment.

“Don’t get too excited, you’re still on the clock and jerking off in the office bathroom is still frowned upon.” Poe said in matter-of-fact way that set Ben’s teeth on edge.

Ben rolled his eyes, especially since it was Poe who was the one that got caught doing that.

“She’s my co-worker I wouldn’t dare-“ Ben tried to defend himself.

“Ah, ah Benjamin.” Poe wagged a finger at him, and he had the desire to snap it off and make him eat it. “Let’s not forget the way you look at her all soft every time she’s in the room. I would put good money on you engaging in office party games just so that way you had the chance to get her. Also, let’s not forget your last mopey drunk night at my apartment.”

It had been three years ago, before therapy. Ben had gotten fired from Snoke’s company and was wallowing on Poe’s couch. Rey came over for cocktails and she was perfect and sunny and everything he wasn’t. He faintly remembered going on a long diatribe about it when she left. The next morning, he called for a therapy appointment and accepted his mom’s job offer. 

The wind sufficiently knocked out of his sails, because Poe never forgot a damn thing, Ben tried another tactic.

“She’s going to open that and file a sexual harassment claim with HR, and I wouldn’t blame her.” Ben was back to panicked rather than seething or moping. 

“I would bet good money that she won’t.” Poe told him confidently.

“Why?”

“God, you are dumb.” Poe said with a pained sigh and a shake of his head, Ben just rolled his eyes. “Because for one, she would have to figure out who it’s from and for two she’d immediately invite you over to play with her new toys when she did.”

“I think you’re the one that’s dumb. She would never.” He gestured at himself. He was too big, too angry, with too big of ears for his unconventional face. 

“Ah, sweetie I wish you would see yourself the way literally everyone else does.” Poe said, his eyes soft and gentle.

“Rey, doesn’t see me like that.”

“I think you’re wrong, but I know you like to learn things the hard way.” He said with a smirk and a wink and Ben knew there was some double entendre that he was missing.

“So, she’s getting 24 sex toys?”

Poe smirked at the change of topic.

“No. 12.”

  
“I thought it was an advent calendar.” Ben said feeling confused.

“It’s 12 days of Christmas, the actual advent calendar of sex toys would run 500 dollars and I would have actually stopped you from leaving my office with it. I just ordered Finn another one to replace yours.”

“Oh, that’s all it would have taken?” Annoyance bubbling through the rest of the emotions.

Poe shrugged. “I have my price. You owe me 250 by the way.”

Ben flipped him off on his way to the door. “That’s the cost of allowing me to do that.”

“It was worth it.” He heard Poe shout down the hall.

Ben left work, careful to avoid Rey on the way out knowing his ears would be burning red with shame and embarrassment. 

\--

The next few days were torture, he could see Rey and Rose whispering to each other, before giving surreptitious glances to the office at large. 

Ben had spent the week eating lunch in his car to avoid any confrontation until Poe pulled him into his office.

“What?” Ben asked, he knew he looked like hell with dark bags under his eyes and his hair was an unkempt mess.

“So, she thinks the box was an accident. I told her it was a mix up and that her gift giver has been chastising themselves all week.”

“But I’m the only one acting weird.” Ben said, and he knew it came out whiney. 

Poe just shrugged. “At least now she knows you’re not the office pervert.”

“No, just the office asshole.”

“Look, I can’t win with you and I’m not going to feed into your little pity party. Get back to work or go home.” Ben took another big sigh and left the office, tail tucked properly between his legs. 

“Hey Ben?” A sing song voice came from behind him when he made it to his desk. A cold shiver of anxiety went down his spine and he could feel himself begin to sweat.

“Rey.” He said, in a rather embarrassing squeak.

“Poe said the gift was an accident. I’m sorry about that.” Now he was certainly confused.

“What? Why, why are you sorry?” This woman was a conundrum to him. 

“I mean. You obviously feel bad.” 

She was doing that thing where she was biting her lip and he couldn’t help but watch.

“Well, I mean… nobody should be getting sex toys from their coworkers at an office Christmas party.” He said seriously, he meant it.

“Well, it was a very nice gift.” Her eyebrow was arched, why was her eyebrow arched? What did that mean, wait was she blushing? Her cheeks were rather pink.

“W-well-“ He stammered and swallowed hard, and despite his dry mouth he nearly choked on his spit. He cleared his throat. “Well, I’m glad that you’re enjoying them.” He said a bit uncertainly.

“I could show you if you want, I know Poe is probably going to make you pay for them, you should know what you’re spending your money on.” She said with a bedeviled smirk before bouncing on her toes and walking back to her desk. 

Ben was certain someone was going to have to pry his chin off the floor with a shovel and he just stood there dumbly without a thought in his head before everything came crashing around him and he realized that Rey was offering him something. 

But for what? To show him what she got? That seemed unnecessary and a little personal. To offer…? No. Absolutely not. Rey was not interested in him like that. But his anxiety mixed dangerously with his arousal and he packed up his stuff and made a hasty exit to the stairwell. Maybe the 13 flights of stairs between him and the parking level would be a nice way to expel some of his energy. 

Despite his lack of sleep and questionable food intake during the week he was still keyed up after work. He went for a run and came back and ordered his favorite comfort food from the local Italian restaurant and showered while he waited for it to be delivered. 

He would have liked to say he was about to fall asleep, but he really struggled with keeping his thoughts away from Rey.

If she showed him what would she show him? 

The vast expanses of her tan freckled skin? The sounds she makes when she experiences pleasure? The way she likes to be touched just-so?

His hand was creeping down to rub against the painfully hard bulge in his sleep pants when his phone chimed. With a groan he rolled over and looked at the screen and his heart stopped.

 **Rey from IT:** Hello.

Ben blinked and wondered if he was hallucinating.

 **Ben:** Hello. Is everything ok? 

There must be a reason if Rey was texting him, there had to have been something wrong. 

**Rey from IT:** Oh, yes. I was just thinking.

 **Ben:** About what? 

**Rey from IT:** About what I said earlier.

Ben’s breath hitched and his blood thrummed in his ears. 

**Ben:** Okay?

 **Rey from IT:** Did you want to see?

 **Ben:** It wouldn’t creep you out if I did?

 **Rey from IT:** Why would it? I’m offering. 

Ben started texting her back but deleted it several times. 

**Ben:** Because I’m your co-worker, and the boss’ son and I haven’t always been the best person. 

**Rey:** Ben if you were still the same person you were when you started you would have punched Poe in the face if you would have even bothered participating. That’s some character growth right there. As for the boss’ son I don’t care about that, I know you wouldn’t use it against me. You’re a better person than you give yourself credit for.

He ran his hand through his hair, sitting on the edge of the bed, his knee bouncing nervously. He dated, but not often and never someone who was more than a stranger from the internet.

 **Rey:** I like you. I would like to show you what was in the calendar. But only if you’d like that, too.

The butterflies in Ben’s stomach were at a fever pitch and he didn’t know whether he wanted to celebrate or throw up. Either way he knew he needed to answer her.

 **Ben:** I like you, too. I was more panicked than livid about the gift. I thought you’d think I was a creep.

 **Rey:** I mean…. Initially, yes? But then I realized it had to have been an accident because what a ridiculous amount of money to spend on office secret Santa. But then Poe said it was a mistake and that you were embarrassed about it. 

**Ben:** Yeah. I haven’t slept much at all this week really. 

**Rey:** Oh no. 😕 I’ll let you get some sleep Ben. Are you coming to the party tomorrow night?

 **Ben:** I don’t know. Those events really aren’t my thing. 

**Rey:** You should come, you can hang out with me. Rose will be with her husband all night and he’s nice enough be he’s kind of a snob.

Ben huffed a laugh.

 **Ben:** Ok, Rey. I’ll be there. 

**Rey:** Good. 😘 See you then.

For the 3rd time tonight Ben sat there blinking at his phone, Rey liked him. Like really liked him. He read through her messages again before putting the phone away and laying there staring at the ceiling. Eventually he did fall asleep and when he awoke, he was the most excited he’d been for a long time. 


	2. Oh yes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get down to business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I'm in mood to buck the system, please note the tags.

That night as he left home to go to the Holiday party he still felt nervous but it was paired with an excitement he hadn’t felt since he thought Rey was going to get a normal gift from her co-worker. It felt like a date and he hoped it was, even if he didn’t allow himself to be overly hopeful about anything.

When he got to the venue, he didn’t see Rey’s car but went in anyways, figuring he’d be the good son and go make the rounds. 

To his surprise she was there already talking to his mother who waved him over. 

He kept a stony demeaner to not give anything away, although if he was being honest with himself Poe probably had already let her in on the recent events. 

“Ben. I’m glad you could make it.” Leia said, her eyes darting between her son and Rey. “Well, I’ll let you guys do whatever you young kids do. You don’t need the boss hanging around dampening the evening.” Leia said with a wink before gliding off towards another group of co-workers. 

Ben could feel his ears burn and Rey let out a chuckle. 

“Your mom is wild.” She told him, trying to tamp down her obvious amusement.

“Something like that,” Ben said, his eyes traveled up Rey’s bare legs to the hem of her dress before taking in the rest of her. She was a vision, he was used to seeing her in pants and sweaters, things that would be forgiving if she needed to crawl under a desk to adjust wires or unhook an old computer.

“You look nice.” He told her before he could stop himself, the blush not receding in the slightest.

Rey gifted him with a grin. “Thank you. Dress to impress and whatnot.” She said, tucking a curl behind her ear.

“I didn’t see your car.” He said, unsure how to continue the conversation. They were friendly at work but this felt like a date and he wasn’t sure how to act.

“Oh, I got a ride from Rose and Hux. I’ll have to see about finding a ride home.” She said, her voice heavy with some sort of unspoken expectation.

“Oh,” the gears seemed to whir loudly in his head before he could get out a response. “I could take you.” He realized that that sounded rather presumptuous and he bit his lip nervously.

“That would be great,” Rey said with a grin. They wandered around the venue, eating food and talking with their coworkers. Rose gave him an overly cheery greeting and after little more than an hour of being there he was ready to leave.

Rey seemed to be enjoying herself and he was surprised when she nudged him.

“Hey, can you take me home?” The way she asked wasn’t teasing or coy, just a co-worker asking for a ride and he wondered if she had changed her mind. 

He nodded, feeling a bit disappointed and unsure. 

They made their goodbyes and grabbed their coats. 

He opened the car door for her and handed her in, knowing that the car could be a bit low and noticing that she didn’t walk very confidently in her heels. 

Seeing she was safely ensconced in the car he shut the door and went over to her side.

“I’m so glad you were ready to go.” She said with a huff slipping off her shoes to reveal a blister on her heel.

“Oh, no Rey.” He tsked at her as he adjusted the thermostat and turned on the heated seat for her, it didn’t escape him that she often wore cardigans, even in the summer. “Is there something I can do?”

“Not yet.” She said with a grin that made some of his previous doubt disappear.

“Which way?” He asked when he got to the parking exit.

“Oh, left here, then right at the lights, then straight for forever.” 

“East end?”

“Hmm, yes, out by the mall.”

“Ok.” He rested his elbow on the console and Rey slid her fingers through is and he found he enjoyed the intimate touch. Her hand fit within his own and he soon found his thumb rubbing soft half circles against her skin. 

She hummed contently and his stolen glances showed her relaxed with a content smile on her lips. 

“What?” She asked when she caught him.

“I just…” He started stopped. “I just never thought you would be interested.”

“Oh, Ben. I’ve been interested.” She told him reassuringly. “You were always so standoffish at first, I didn’t think you were interested back.”

He blinked, a bit dumbfounded.

“How could I not be? You’re fucking perfect. You’re smart, pretty, nice, you put Poe in his place when he’s being an ass and save me from myself every time there’s new software I have to learn.” He didn’t realize how intense he got on his little tirade until he met Rey’s surprised stare.

“Sorry.” He mumbled, looking back toward the road. 

“Turn here.” She said, a bit breathlessly. She directed him on where to park and as soon as he did, she pulled him by the collar over the console and her lips crashed into his. He gasped out a surprised hum and Rey took the opportunity to slide her tongue into his mouth before giving his lip a firm nip on her retreat. 

She was panting and heated when she pulled away and he wasted no time getting out of the car. She was barefoot on the frozen sidewalk and he took the opportunity to scoop her up and carry her to her building. She let out a giggle and a squeal at his antics but directed him where he needed to go. She helped him with the door and directed him down the hall and up the stairs to her place.

When they got to her door, he set her down at her insistence and she let them into her apartment. 

They were greeted with a very rotund orange and white cat.

“Hello, Bebe.” She cooed giving the animal chin scratches. “Sometimes he gets out into the hall if you’re not watching, so make sure you keep an eye out for him.”

His breath caught and it felt significant that she told him, like he’d have a chance to be here again.

“Now, that present you gave me,” she said as she straightened up and took his hand pulling him out into the living room. 

The box in question sat on the coffee table.

“Did you open them all?” He asked her, the doors were all shut and look undisturbed.

“No.” she bit her lip nervously, “I was waiting for you. I know I implied that I had opened them, but I don’t know...” She trailed her boldness seemingly came in fits and bursts. Her cheeks blushed pink and he sidled closer to her on the couch and he leaned over to kiss her. It didn’t take long for it to become heated, Rey straddling his lap as he tried to keep himself from rutting his erection against the pleasant weight of her but she seemed to have different thoughts on the subject as she ground against him.

“Ben.” She gasped the sound going straight to his aching cock. She pulled back some and his hands gripped her hips as if he was afraid, she’d disappear. Her lips were red, and kiss bitten, and her chin was red from whisker burn. He wanted this image of her to permanently reside behind his eyes where only he could see it. 

She bit her lip, and he couldn’t help but to lean forward and kiss her mouth, his tongue soothing where her teeth had pressed into the skin. 

“Ben.” She said a bit more firmly pushing him back against the couch.

“Hmm.” He hummed a bit lost in her presence.

“I think we should open door number one.” She leaned over to the pox to tug at the door, it popped open rather easily and Rey pulled out a small package. 

It was a small rubber ring and she pursed her lips, as if a little disappointed.

“What do you think? This looks like it’s more for you than me.”

Ben shook his head.

“Maybe not this time.” She looked at him a bit wide eyed and she beamed at him before pressing a kiss to his mouth and leaning towards the box, her fingers hovering over door number two.

“Rey, it’s your present. Open it in whatever order you want.” He reassured her, his knuckle brushing down her spine, until he reached the fabric of her dress at her waist.

She looked at him bright eyed again and shifted off his lap to kneel at her coffee table to open all the little doors. His fingers brushed her hair off her nape and she shivered.

“Not my neck.” She whispered quietly. 

“Ok.” His hands lowered to her shoulders and he moved to sit on the floor next to her, his hand brushing along her lower back. She leaned into him a bit and started pulling out the items, it was a little like watching a kid eagerly, open presents. His lips found purchase on her shoulder, unable to resist the urge to touch her now that he was finally allowed to. He was so focused on her that he didn’t really pay attention to what she was pulling out of the box. 

“Done.” She said proudly as she looked over her haul. Ben was surprised by the buffet of objects in front of them. Things that looked like collars, and feather dusters littered in with things that were much more phallic. Ben could feel his ears turning red, it was a lot to be faced with on you his first night with a girl he’d been pining over for three years.

“Have you ever used things like these before?” He asked her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Some, but not all of them.” Her lip was being worried between her teeth again and he hoped he could be reassuring.

“What would you feel comfortable with?” His voice low and raspy from the arousal coursing through his blood. 

She tucked her lip between her teeth, and he watched attentively as her hand hovered over the objects on the table.

“Anything?” She asked, sounding unsure for the first time tonight.

“Anything.” He reassured her, even if he wasn’t 100% confident in all of the objects, he was eager to learn for her. 

He watched as she plucked the feather duster and the leather tassel off the table and it took him by surprise, although not a bad one.

“These first.” She said confidently.

He hummed and kissed her shoulder as means of a response. 

“Is it ok if I’m in charge?” She asked apprehensively and the idea of it nearly made him cum in his pants. 

“Yes.” He choked out.

She beamed at him and got up off the floor, taking his hand in hers as she dragged him toward the bedroom.

He watched as Rey slid out of her dress and he was quick to follow her lead in taking off his shirt and pants, he was unsure if he should leave his boxers on or not. 

“On or off?” He asked her.

“Off.” She said with a smile that eased his nerves.

He obeyed and she tugged him close by the waist and he bent down to kiss her. Before he knew it, she was pushing him onto the bed towards the headboard. 

Rey’s eyes twinkled mischievously in the low lamplight and he took the moment to take in the hazel of her eyes and the freckles that dusted her nose.

“Are you ready?” She asked him to which he nodded eagerly. 

She sat back on her heals and brushed the feather along the inside of his wrist, his skin tingled, and his cock jumped at the contact. Rey’s eyes seemed to take in his response, and he couldn’t help but gaze at her nude body as she drew the feather across his skin. The moment was soft and perfect, and his hand couldn’t help but wander to her knee, his thumb running over the arch of her thigh. 

Rey cleared her throat, and she gave him a stern but soft look. “No, touching sir,” she told him a, teasing grin playing at the corners of her mouth. 

“Sorry,” he said placing his hands behind his head to remove the temptation. 

Rey licked her lips, as if she was affected by the sight, “I’m just not quite done yet.” She told him, straddling his waist. He groaned at the firm contact of her skin in contrast with the light touches of the feathers. 

He fisted his hands to keep from touching her. 

A few moments later and Rey was changing implements, the leather tassels dragged over his skin and his core tensed as he squirmed, bucking against Rey and disrupting her perch. She looked a bit gleeful as she slid further down his body, her breath fanning over the skin of his stomach as she lowered. He gasped out as she blew over his cock, a feather light touch of air against his sensitive skin. He bit his lip to distract him from the pleasure, to keep from thrusting towards her. 

His eyes met hers and she gave him a bedeviled smirk. However, despite all of his best efforts, he came. His cock pulsed and his cum spurted out onto his stomach as he let out a groan.

“Fuck, shit.” Ben said trying to contain where the liquid landed. “I’m sorry,” he told her, more breathlessly than he would have liked. He was desperately hoping not to disappoint her. She handed him a towel that must have still been damp from her shower. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t-.” She said, looking repentant.

“It’s ok,” he reassured her. “We’ll just focus on you.” 

She bit her lip looking relieved and his hands cupped her cheeks to kiss her, careful not to brush her neck as his hands traveled down to her waist to turn her. “This okay?” He asked as she laid back and he hovered over her. She nodded and he took a brief moment just to appreciate that she was here laying beneath him. 

“Ben.” She whispered when he seemed to stare too long, her hands starting to fidget in the sheets.

“Sorry.” He said as settled next to her, leaning down to kiss her mouth while he picked up the feather duster. He traced it over her arm going shoulder to wrist before spinning over her palm when she turned out her hand. 

The room was quiet except for their soft breathing.

“You’re so perfect, Rey.” He told her, watching as the feathers tripped over her nipple, the dusky nub pebbling under the stimulation of the feather. She whimpered and he blew on her other nipple, allowing the feather to continue to stimulate the other. Her breath hitched when he sucked the nipple into his mouth, pressing his tongue against the hardened peak. 

She clutched at his hair to keep him close and he hummed before pulling away. He blew over the dampened skin and she squirmed with the sensation.

“Ok?” He asked, making sure she was still comfortable. 

“Yes.” She gasped as he moved the feather further down, brushing along the arch of her ribcage, her stomach trembled, and she huffed a laugh. “Ben that tickles.” She told him and he followed the trail of the feathers with firm kisses to try to make it more pleasurable. 

The feathers dipped into her belly button before making a line from hip bone to hip bone teasing the top edge of the small thatch of hair that covered her mons. 

He left kisses wherever he could, he shifted to kneel between her legs, the feather duster moving over her skin on one side while his fingers mirrored the movement of another. Rey’s eyes were closed in a blissful state. She let out little huffs and moans that made arousal heat his skin. He could feel himself getting hard, his cock thickening with each pulse.

He put down the feather duster and his hands slid down her thighs to her knees.

He looked up at her to see her watching him. 

“Can I put my mouth on you?” Her eyebrows hitched together, for a brief moment before she nodded.

He shouldered his way between her thighs draping her legs over his arms, her feet bracketed on either side of his ribs. He could smell the scent of her arousal and he nuzzled her labia in a soft swipe, reaching his tongue out to follow the motion. Her legs jerked and tightened around him and he looked up at her to see her hand in her mouth.

“Rey?” 

“Don’t stop.” Was her muffled response.

“I want to hear you, don’t hold back.” She breathed in deeply and removed her hand from her mouth and he could see the indents from her teeth in the heel of her thumb. 

He kissed the inside of her thigh before returning to give her a firm lick with he flat of his tongue, moving upwards to circle her clit. She seemed to prefer to more direct stimulation and he focused on it for a while, eliciting moans and gasps from her with each circle and suck. He brought his hand to her center, his fingers sliding through the moisture at her entrance while he continued to focus on her clit with his mouth. 

At some point, he was really quite distracted, her hands gripped his hair. Each pleasurable motion of his mouth earned him a firm tug, which only encouraged him to continue. He would groan into her and he slipped a finger inside her entrance. The slippery fluid of her arousal easing his entrance. She tugged firm to bring his mouth up to hers. The kiss was sloppy and wet, and she pushed him back onto his back. 

“Let me get something.” She told him before disappearing out into the living room. When she returned her hand was fisted around something and his cock twitched eager to see what she had brought him. She crawled up onto the bed and he moved to welcome her, his hands aiding her movements as she straddled him. 

“Rey.” He gasped as she slid over his hard length. She bent down over him, and he leaned up to kiss her, her tongue sliding against his before she pulled back. “What did you bring?” 

She grinned at him, holding up her prize. It was a little vibrator that looked like a spaceship out of galaxy wars.

“I want to try this.” She said, and he wondered just how long he would last if he felt that while he was sheathed inside of her.

“Ok, although you’re really testing my staying power tonight.” He teased lightheartedly, his hands roaming over her skin. He didn’t know what their future held but he knew that he didn’t want to waste any opportunities tonight. 

“Well, maybe I can go easy on you another night.” She said teasingly, before leaning down to kiss him again. He wrapped his arms around her to keep her there, the light teasing tone changing to something slightly more serious and intentional.

She turned on the toy, the soft buzzing noise overlaying the sounds of their breathing and kisses. 

She pulled back. 

“What if I didn’t want to have penetrative sex?” She asked him, her lip worrying her teeth. 

“Ok, what do you want?” He thought a moment. “Although I already fingered you, did you not want me to do that?”

“I would have told you if I didn’t, but sometimes I can’t come like that and if I’m being honest, you’re kind of big.” She said in a rush, pink dusting her cheeks. 

“Okay, whatever you want.” Ben told her, honestly, he just wanted her to feel good. 

Rey got up and got the towel in easy reach.

“You can fuck me between my thighs?” She asked, again she gave him that worried look. He didn’t know what fool would say no to that, it was honestly just as appealing.

“Yes, anything you want, Rey.” He said with a peck to her cheek as they adjusted. She pulled something from a drawer and with the pop of a lid he knew that it must be lube. 

She laid on her side and he spooned behind her, cradling her head with his arm. 

“This ok?” He asked before moving again.

“Yes.” She gasped.

He nuzzled her ear as he adjusted his cock to slip between her legs. He groaned with the firm warmth of her thighs pressing around him, the slick folds of her pussy a welcome sensation. He pulled back and thrusted against her.

“Like that?”

“Yes, please, like that.” She told him, breathily, her body relaxed and leaned back against him. 

He felt as one of her hands came to cup the underside of his cock.

“Yes, Rey. Like that.” He groan out and he was confident that he could help her finish like this until the buzzing started. 

He felt when the small vibe pressed against her clit because he could feel it against his dick on his forward thrusts, feel in in the quiver of her and the eager way she moved against him. 

“Fuck, Rey.” Ben groaned out his hand reaching around to cup her breasts, his thumb pulling at and tweaking her nipples. Ben kissed and nibbled on her shoulder in an attempt to distract himself. Her whimpers and moans got louder, and the motion of the toy seemed to become more aggressive. 

“Please, come, Rey.” He begged her, trying to encourage her. “Come all over my cock, please.” He pleaded, his hand was a restless presence trying to stimulate her by touching her breasts, her thighs, or gripping her hips for his thrusts. 

When she stilled and spasmed he did his best to keep moving despite her thighs being clamped impossibly tight around him. He continued to thrust against her and just when he thought he was close Rey moved the vibe to press against the underside of his cock, the sensation causing him to shudder and stall as he came, his spend spilling over the front of her thigh as his hand gripped her hip. 

His forehead was pressed against her shoulder, her fingers brushed through his hair as he caught his breath. ,

He laid there a moment, settling against the pillows and tugging her close against him, not ready to let her go, not ready to face whatever came next. 

His arm wrapped around her tight and soon her arms were draped over his as she relaxed. 

“Was that ok?” He asked, eager to make sure she was satisfied. 

“Yes.” She said softly. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being flexible.”

That only served to confuse him.

He propped up on his elbow but she didn’t look at him, so he crawled over her to face her. 

“Rey.” He said when she wouldn’t look at him. “I just wanted to be with you, it didn’t really matter what we did.”

“So, you’re not disappointed?” The confident and bright Rey disappearing behind some cloud of embarrassment that he didn’t recognize. 

“I came with you not even touching me,” he told her, “how would I be disappointed?”

“Not everyone reacts well to those kinds of requests.”

“Well, if they’re not okay with it they’re assholes who don’t deserve you.” His fingers brushed her hair away from her temple and he pressed a kiss there before kissing her mouth. 

He felt her fingers ghost patterns over his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her.

“You’re a strange man Ben Solo.” She muttered against his chest.

“Hm, how so?” He asked, it wasn’t something that was uncommon for him to hear, but he wanted to hear her reasoning. 

“You’re smart, funny, thoughtful, good at your job, and apparently very attentive and respectful in bed.” She said tucking herself under his chin. 

“Hmm… Well, I don’t know about all of the stuff at the beginning but let’s just say I have an eager and invested interest in knowing what pleases you.”

“Do you?” She said, her tone somewhat flirtatious and he hoped that her doubts had passed.

“I do. I want you to enjoy yourself, no matter what we do .”

“As in, you’d be open to doing this again?” Her voice tinted with a tone of hope.

“Yes.” He back up to look down at her incredulous. “Have you met you?”

She looked at him like she didn’t understand his meaning.

“You’re hot, the nicest person I’ve met in real life, and the only person I’ve been interested in, in a long time. Honestly, I might not be who I am if it wasn’t for you.”

“What?” Her nose crinkled in confusion. 

“The first time we met.” He said, taking a breath to steel his nerves. “The first time we met you were kind, and sweet and thoughtful and I promised myself that I’d do my best to deserve you, or to deserve being around you.” He told her, his eyes focused on her mouth so he wouldn’t lose his confidence.

“But the first time we met-.”

“I was drunk and sad.” He finished for her. “You were the brightest thing I’d seen in a long time.”

“But you didn’t even talk to me hardly, not for months after you first started.”

“I wasn’t a good person, Rey. It was probably best for you that I didn’t.”

She burrowed against him.

“Well, you’re a good person, now.”

“I had a good motivator.” He said dropping a kiss into her hair. 

They spent the rest of the night talking and raiding Rey’s cupboards of snacks.

They talked about work, and Ben’s life before work, and a little of Rey’s life before work. 

He learned that her childhood wasn’t easy and that her foster homes were often neglectful if not outright abusive. She learned that although he had a decent relationship with his parents now, growing up it had been strained. She also learned that through the course of his life he had given Poe exactly two black eyes, while Ben had received one fat lip and a bloody nose. 

That night when they fell asleep it was Rey who was pressed against Ben’s back while their fingers were entwined over his heart. 

By the time morning came she was draped over his chest and he could feel the little puddle of drool cooling on his chest. He did his best to wiggle out from under her, going to the bathroom then checking the fridge to see if there was anything, he could make her for breakfast. 

He got the coffee brewing while he started working on eggs and toast. 

She shuffled out of the bedroom yawning and wrapped her arms around his waist.

“Breakfast?” She said with a tone of awe.

“Yes. If you want to crawl back in bed, I’ll bring it to you.” 

She gasped excitedly and scampered off and he chuckled to himself. He put everything on a plate and scooped some jam into a small bowl. He carefully picked up the two coffee cups before picking up the plate, with the small bowl, food, and silverware balanced precariously on top.

They ate breakfast in bed and despite a whole night touching her he still couldn’t seem to get enough.

“You know…” She said, slathering an impossible amount of jam on her last bite of toast before shoving in her mouth. “This was very nice, and we should do this again sometime.” She said, her mouth full of breakfast and he couldn’t help but chuckle at her as he swiped a drop of jam off the corner of her mouth.

“Oh?” He said, licking the sticky substance off his thumb.

“Yes. I really seem to like breakfast in bed.” She said teasingly.

“Well, I’m free all weekend, every weekend for the foreseeable future.” He said, hoping he didn’t come off as pushy but couldn’t help but to take the opening. 

“Ok.” She said grinning. “Friday after work do you-?”

“Yes.” He interrupted.

“You didn’t even let me finish asking.”

“Dinner? Yes. Movie? Sure. Dancing? If you insist.” Each word and phrase peppered with kisses against her cheeks and lips, and nose. 

“Erm. Ben you’re getting me all sticky.”

“Better wash you up then.” He told her setting aside their empty dishes and tugging her out of bed behind him. 

They showered and before he could even get them dried off, she was tugging him into bed, this time he was able to get her to come with his mouth before she put the little cuffs on his wrists and he watched her suck him off. He was eager to let her and enjoyed the slow torture of watching her do exactly what she wanted to him. 

Despite the awkward beginnings they seemed to find a nice little rhythm, lunches during the week at work, weekends at her place, holidays with his parents. Sometimes they did have penetrative sex, sometimes with the penetrative toys sometimes with his cock. It didn’t matter as long as she felt safe and found pleasure in what they did, he found everything they did enjoyable and it was enough for him.

Despite his unwavering interest, it still surprised her when he told her he loved her, one morning after he made her breakfast. He wasn’t surprised by his feelings he knew the first time he met her that he would if he got the opportunity to know her.

One day, shortly after that he came over to her apartment and she was a mess of puffy eyes and tears and looking at him only made her cry harder. He nearly panicked thinking this was the end of their relationship and he found himself kneeling at her feet crying along with her, desperate to try to figure out what happened.

“Ben-,” she sniffled. “I can’t get married.” 

This made him pause, this wasn’t something they had discussed.

“What?” His brow furrowed in concern they had only just started talking about living together. 

“I can’t. I’m scared. What if it doesn’t work out.” She started hyperventilating. 

“Rey.” His hands cupped her cheeks to try and pull her attention back to him. “Sweetheart, where is this coming from?” She took a deep breath.

“But your mom.” She choked out as if that answered everything for him.

“My mom what?” His sadness and worry shifted to frustration and anger. 

“She said, that when we plan the wedding-.” 

“What wedding?”

“I don’t know. She just made it sound so certain and I can’t Ben I can’t get married.”

“That’s ok. We don’t need to.” He reassured her.

She took in a sigh of relief and he waited for her to continue, usually if he gave her the space, she’d open up easier than if he asked her questions.

“I need to know I’m not trapped.” She winced as she said it as if she knew it didn’t sound good, he couldn’t help the involuntary flinch it caused him.

“Ok.” He said, his hands holding onto hers, his thumbs rubbing over the back of her hands.

“I’m sorry.” She said, sadly. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. I just want you to be happy.”

“But don’t you want to get married?”

“Not if it scares you so much that you panic like this. Not if it means that I don’t get to be with you at all.” He explained, it was only a piece of paper, it didn’t matter to him.

“But your mom…” 

“Will get over it and I will talk to her about it. Wrangling her isn’t your responsibility.” She nodded taking in a deep breath and visibly relaxed. 

“I’m sorry for freaking out and upsetting you.”

“It turned out okay and this was probably a conversation we needed to have eventually.”

“Okay.” She said, her breathing evening out.

“Okay.” He told her as he kissed the back of her hands.

That night they watched funny movies and ate Chinese food, snuggled up on the couch confident that what they had was exactly what they wanted.


End file.
